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The One Thing that most often gets in the way of Failing Successfully

August 19, 2019

Whenever I read “The One Thing” in a headline, my Crap Detector (sorry, that’s the technical term…) starts pegging out.  One thing?  Really?  Your life is so simple one thing is all it takes to make things work right, or to keep things from going wrong?  Hmmm.

I think I’m safe with the title of this post, though.  The qualifier “most often” takes me off the hook.  I find one thing most often getting in the way of failing successfully in my life, and in the lives of people I work with.

The one thing?  Fear.  Specifically, the fear of rejection.

This is the compelling fear in my life.  I can’t remember a time when it wasn’t.  I want to be liked.  I want to be accepted.  I want to be popular.  And cool.  How sad is that?  I’m 66 years old, and I still want the same basic things I wanted when I was in Jr. High (back before there was such a thing as Middle School).

I don’t have any right to make you guilty of my weaknesses and shortcomings, but I have a very strong feeling that I’m not the only one who suffers from this irrational besetting emotion.  The irrationality of it doesn’t keep it from being intensely powerful.  An idea or an emotion doesn’t have to be true to be powerful.  (You may want to post that last sentence on your Facebook page.  It’s one of the few quotable sentences I’ve ever written.  Except if you do, be prepared to be identified as a hater.)

If you struggle with the fear of rejection, chances are good that your kids will, too.  So if you don’t want to bequeath it to them, you’ll need to go to work on it in your own life.  And in my experience, it will be work.

Start here: Jia Jiang  This Chinese immigrant’s story will take you about 15 minutes to watch, but it could be the best 15 minutes you’ll spend (actually, invest) today.  Go ahead.  Click on the Jia Jiang link, and turn the audio up.

Yer welcome.

From → Marriage, Parenting

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